Getting help with ketamine addiction: 5 questions for Ket-a-Grip’s founder
Jillian discusses a 12-step group dedicated to ketamine addiction.
Jillian never liked to drink alcohol. But two years ago, when she first started to confront her addiction to ketamine, Alcoholics Anonymous seemed like the only support group option that was available. “I wasn’t really interested in AA,” the 23-year-old said. “I thought, ‘This doesn’t have anything to do with me.’”
Ketamine was popular in her social circles in Los Angeles, and she began using it every day. A year ago, she went to rehab, but still wanted to find a community of people who had managed the same addiction as she did. It was hard to find. When you search online for ketamine addiction, you’re more likely to find advertisements for ketamine clinics than support groups.
In March of this year, Jillian founded Ket-a-Grip, a 12-step program meeting specifically for people struggling with ketamine use. They meet weekly in person at The West Hollywood Log Cabin, a wooden house surrounded by restaurants and yoga studios. The cabin was built in the 1920s as a women’s temperance movement club, and after World War II, became a home to dozens of addiction recovery groups. The Microdose talked to Jillian about her experiences with ketamine, and what Ket-a-Grip uniquely offers to its members. We are using Jillian’s first name only, in keeping with 12-step programs’ commitment to anonymity.
How did Ket-a-Grip get started?
A year ago I went to rehab for ketamine. Long before I got sober, I thought, “One day we’re going to need a support group for ketamine.” My friends and I would do so much ketamine together, and the way that we used, I just knew it wasn’t sustainable. I would make jokes that, “One day we’ll have a Ketamine Anonymous.” When I got sober, I heard a woman talking about how starting a meeting really helped her sobriety. That inspired me.
In NA [Narcotics Anonymous] they have Crystal Meth Anonymous, and I couldn’t find anything for ketamine. My friend helped me talk to the person who runs West Hollywood Recovery Center, we pitched the idea, and they approved it.
The first few meetings, we didn’t really have speakers. It was a round robin meeting, which meant we went around in a circle and everybody shared. There were a lot of people recently in recovery. We didn’t have a lot of advice or wisdom to share with each other yet. We were just relating to how hard it was. It’s definitely grown a lot. We have some core members now, and it’s been growing ever since.
In your experience, how do people first start using ketamine?
When I first started doing it, it was like the perfect drug from heaven. When I moved to LA, I did ketamine with my ex-boyfriend, and was like, “Wow, there’s no hangover.” I had heard of people who were addicted to it, many years ago. I thought, how could you be addicted to a horse tranquilizer? But it was considered really cool in the circles I hung out with. It was extremely popular. Hardly anybody did not do ketamine.
I’ve had several people come to the meeting who started doing ketamine through ketamine therapy. They started out by injecting it, and then they’ll start injecting it themselves. One man told me he did 28 grams in one weekend. He’s sober now, but he started out doing ketamine therapy for his other addictions.
What do people get out of having a ketamine-only focus? What can they share that is specific to ketamine?
In a lot of meetings, you’re not supposed to really mention drugs other than alcohol. Sometimes you’re not supposed to talk about being high at all, which is understandable, because it can be triggering. But I think it’s important for us to talk about the reality of it. When I went to rehab, there were a few other people who were addicted to ketamine, and it was really nice to be able to talk, and relate to them.
Last week, a speaker was talking about how he’s never met a ketamine addict who struggles with the idea of a higher power. Everybody in the meeting believes in a higher power, and doesn’t struggle with that because I’m pretty sure I’ve met god on ketamine. We all are pretty spiritual.
We sometimes talk about how our mental health could actually be better during addiction versus being sober. I didn’t feel very depressed when I was on ketamine, but then when I would run out, that was when I would feel terrible.
And a lot of people can relate to the ketamine cramps, the horrible, horrible stomach pains, the pelvic floor issues, the incontinence. I peed myself multiple times towards the end of my addiction. One person peed blood for a while. I never got there, but many bladders will never be the same.
How do you feel about ketamine being used to treat depression symptoms in some people, while also being addictive for others?
For me, it is complicated because I’ve done ketamine, and I can understand. I feel like it did help me in ways. It’s a very slippery slope, because your tolerance goes up fast. I used to say that I did bumps of ketamine and lines of ketamine as often people hit their vape. I did it throughout the day, like smoking a cigarette or something. It can really destroy your life, and I don’t want that to happen to more people. This is an intense drug.
I think these treatment places can be so predatory. They’ll even go into rehabs and offer treatment to people for like $500. But I was talking to a fellow [member] about this last week, and she reminded me: her brother is a Marine, and there are many people with PTSD who say that psychedelic treatment has completely changed their life. It made it easier for them to live, and I want them to be able to access that and to do that.
Do you think there’s a big need for ketamine support groups? Have you heard of any others?
I post on Reddit sometimes, and I get so many comments. Not everybody actually joins, but when I post, “contact me for the meeting info,” I then get flooded with DMs asking for help. In person it’s 15 to like 30 people. Some weeks are a lot bigger than others. We’ve had people join from all over the world on Zoom.
Two girls in Bushwick just started [a group] in New York, and it’s called Out of the Hole, which is such a good name, I love it. They reached out to me and asked about our meeting format, and I shared that with them.
I think programs like 12 Step are really important. I wouldn’t be able to be sober without it, and if I was, I think I would just be a lot more miserable and lonely. It’s nice to have a support system that’s always there, with people who don’t want anything from you except that they want to help. Having the responsibility I feel to show up for the group has helped me a lot.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.
