Taking ayahuasca with mom: 5 Questions for NFL safety Jordan Poyer

Poyer discusses the interfamilial psychedelics experience and how the substances have affected his worldview and career.

Jordan Poyer grew up in Astoria, Oregon, an idyllic town on the Columbia River. He and his brother were raised by their mom and stepdad, both counselors for at-risk youth. Their community was small — everyone knew everyone — so Poyer could not have gotten away with high school partying and drinking without his parents finding out. So Poyer concentrated on football instead and he was good at it. Eventually, he was recruited by Oregon State, and it was there, away from home for the first time, that his drinking problem first started. Poyer’s father, who he had never known, also had issues with alcohol. Knowing that about his dad felt to Poyer like permission to get lost in the bottle, too.

Meanwhile, Poyer’s football career was taking off. He was named a consensus All-American, and drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles in 2013. He’s since gone on to play for the Cleveland Browns, Buffalo Bills, and, most recently last season for the Miami Dolphins. At 33 years old, he just finished his 12th year in the National Football League. In recent years, Poyer quit alcohol and later discovered ayahuasca and other psychedelics — and has even taken them alongside his family members. The Microdose talked with him about the interfamilial psychedelics experience and how the substances have affected his worldview and career.

How did you find your way to psychedelics?

2019 was a really bad year for my mental health. I had actually started to become really good at my job. It sounds weird to say I struggled then, but all that came with that — always being under a microscope, being expected to play well every week — was high stress. I’d just gotten married, and my daughter was just a few years old. And then in 2020, I really hit a rock bottom in the off-season; I ended up getting sober cold-turkey, and going to AA. In those meetings they tell you to take it one day at a time - that’s what I’ve done and on March 13, it’ll have been five years.

But even after I was done with drinking, I still had a lot of questions about why I was feeling the way I was. I had everything in the world: a beautiful family, a beautiful daughter, a great career. But I still didn’t feel fulfilled. Usually, I’d turn to alcohol but I didn’t have that any more. Then COVID happened, and the 2020 election, and I started paying more attention to politics and the world around me. I started questioning everything, and I felt like people were so divided, and that made me angry. Like why are we so divided? Black and white — I'm half white, half Black, and I felt I could be on both sides.

Then, all of a sudden, I saw Aaron Rodgers was on Pat McAfee’s show one day, talking about his experience with ayahuasca. It just resonated with me; it gave me goosebumps right now just talking about it. I could tell he knew something that I didn’t, and I wanted to know what he did. So I started researching ayahuasca, and in 2023, I sat for three ceremonies in Costa Rica.

What was your family’s reaction?

At first, my mom thought I’d gone off the deep end. But she started to see that I had changed for the better, and after about a month she started asking me more questions about it. Eventually, she was curious enough to come sit with the medicine herself.

My wife too has become more open to what I’m doing. She sees how it's made our relationship better, as well as my relationship with my daughter; it’s given me a different perspective on life and more appreciation for what's around me.

Honestly, before I experienced it myself, I was the type of person who thought that if you do psychedelics, you’re crazy or a drug addict or whatever. And obviously, that was the result of negative connotations, and my lack of understanding and awareness of plant medicine.

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So I know that eventually your mom and your brother did ayahuasca with you in Costa Rica. What was that experience like?

On the first night, it was hard letting go of my worry for them. I really wanted to make sure they got what they wanted out of it, so much so that the medicine didn’t even really hit me. But I saw both my mom and brother really going through some tough moments during those six hours. So then on the second night, we did another ceremony and I went in with the intention that I was going to just let them go through their own processes, and not worry as much about them.

My mom had a lot to work through but she’s a trooper. There was stuff that she needed to let go of in her life that she was holding on to, the trauma of past relationships and heartbreaks that we hold on to, which then affects us subconsciously. In the end I think my mom would tell you that it’s one of the best things she’s ever done. She used to be very closed off, a fly on the wall; in a group of people she wouldn’t be one to talk. But now you can’t get her to be quiet! She’s a talkative, social butterfly, who just wants to chit chat with everybody. My younger brother still has some work to do, but he’s on his way; I’m helping him with the integration part of things.

We all realized that whatever we were holding on to just didn't matter. My mom and my brother have had some communication issues in their relationship — just typically family stuff — and afterward, they were like, “We're good.” Like, let's just be happy and enjoy this life.

Do you feel like ayahuasca has changed your outlook on football?

I’ve played 12 years in the NFL, which is a good long time. Every athlete has their own story about their motivations for why they play – it's a violent game, and you have to be out there with a certain attitude that allows you to play with explosiveness. After the first time I experienced the medicine, it gave me confidence and motivation, but at the same time, I felt it also took a little bit of that edge away. I’ve also had a lot of injuries, and I was like, “Damn, I’ve still gotta go out there and try to hit some people with these knee and shoulder injuries?” But at the same time, it’s given me perspective: I get to play a game I love, and it’s given me the motivation to really enjoy it.

It’s also made me realize the NFL is a system in itself. There are so many guys that have so many problems in their head that — it makes you realize that money doesn't fix everything.

You’re getting paid a ton of money for years, you’re attached to this ego – and then when you're done playing, you're not getting those pats on the backs anymore, those accolades. Now you’re just a human being and some people don’t know what to do with that, because you’ve been an athlete your whole life.

What’s next for you?

I just started a church — we’re called the Conscious Living Network, and we’re in the middle of planning future events. We’re looking at hiring a medicine team, a couple shamans; we had planned a couple of retreats in Costa Rica but those unfortunately fell through at the last minute. We also have a community called Luminate where we’re hosting yoga, meditation, cacao ceremonies in South Florida, and we’re partnering with the company Mudwtr to do an event for them in California in May. We're taking baby steps, but eventually I want to host retreats and share the medicine, share the knowledge and build communities that allow us to have deep conversations.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.